Every relationship has its own conflicts. These can be triggered by the partners’ differences in several aspects such as religion, culture, environment, how they were raised, and even their own preferences. While disagreements are inevitable, the love between you and your partner should not be overwhelmed by your differences. So what can you do when you and your partner do not see eye to eye? Keep reading for some suggestions!
Go to a quiet place and have a few minutes alone. Take this time to pause and clear your mind. The last thing you want is to have your emotions get the better of you. We can say really hurtful things when we’re caught up in our emotions, and there may be times when we don’t even mean them. So taking the time to cool down can help you think straight and contemplate on what really matters.
Sometimes, if pausing and reflecting doesn’t work, then it might help to do other things first when things are heated between you and your partner. This can help alleviate the anger or any intense feelings you may have at the moment. It’s okay to distract yourself and do other activities such as walking the dog, going for a jog or playing with your child.
Keep in mind that you both have to agree that you’re not escaping the problem–you’re just allowing each other some time to think about it. You don’t want your partner to feel like you’re disregarding him. Assure each other that there will be a time and place to address the problem, but for the meantime, you just have to cool off.
It’s perfectly fine not to resolve the issue right away. Finding the right time to discuss things is
essential so that judgement is not clouded. Avoid discussing delicate matters when you’re tired
from work or doing house chores, after the death of a loved one, or sometimes even when on vacation.
It may be hard, but try to listen, and do your best to let your partner finish speaking. Avoid cutting him or her off just so you can say your point. It is only when you listen that you get to understand where your partner is coming from. Also try to put yourself in his or her shoes. Remember, communication is a two-way street.
This teaches us to take responsibility for what we are thinking and feeling rather than pointing out our partner’s mistakes. An example for this could be, “I am disappointed that you did not bring out the trash last night.” instead of “You forgot to bring the trash out again last night.”
There are situations where partners just need to accept that there is a difference in opinion between them. They come to an understanding that neither of them will change their minds, and a lengthy discussion over the matter is no longer substantial. If you are in a similar situation, you can both agree that both your opinions are valid but different, and that you will acknowledge and respect their opinion, even though you may think differently.