These Moms Get Real About Mom Guilt and How They Beat It

No matter how “experienced” you are, mom guilt is a reality and every mom will feel it from time to time. It’s so easy to overthink about whether what we did was right or wrong for our kids. But, it’s more important to remember that you’re definitely doing your best! Today, we’re sharing how these moms experience mom guilt and what they do to beat it every time it pops up. We hope reading these stories will help you remember that you’re definitely not alone in this and that handling mom guilt is a process you can get through. You might even pick up new coping tricks that work for you too! Keep reading!

These Moms Get Real About Mom Guilt and How They Beat It

"The guilt might not fully go away but I end up realising the time of rest was needed because it recharged me afterwards to give more to everyone around me." - Janna Simpao, mommy of Matti and Rocco

Rest actually triggers my mom guilt. It’s seem like my To Do list never runs out as a mom and entrepreneur. Either my time is devoted to my family or it goes to my work. Whenever I take time for myself to rest, I end up feeling guilty thinking that time should be given to either of the two instead. I can’t say I handle this perfectly but often I try to just stop, and remind myself I can’t be everything to everyone. The guilt might not fully go away but I end up realizing the time of rest was needed because it recharged me afterwards to give more to everyone around me.

— Janna Simpao, mommy of Matti and Rocco

 

"What's important is that you have your vent buddy or buddies that are ready to back you up." - Dareen Donan, mommy of Huey Iezak & Heinz Iosef

When I say “FASTER and NO” to my five-year-old boy just because I can’t handle them both with his one-month-old brother at the same time. I turn to my vent buddies, my husband, and my sister. I tend to promise my eldest things that we’ll do together when his baby sibling is asleep and it was tougher to commit to [our] Mama-Zak time, until we agreed on a calendar marked with his schedule with Dada, me, and even with his aunt. It’s a family schedule we are trying to consistently follow just to make sure we give enough time for both kids in the family. We set rules and we discuss signs when Mama needs help and when Mama is free. Guilty? I think it would always happen anytime with many reasons–what’s important is that you have your vent buddy or buddies that are ready to back you up.

— Dareen Donan, mommy of Huey Iezak and Heinz Iosef

 

"I'm learning to be kinder to myself, to stay away from negativity, and just focus on being the best mother to my child." - Marianne Dorado, mommy of Gian Matthew

Leaving for work every morning is always a heartbreaking scene for me. My little boy cries whenever he sees me getting dressed up for work and cries harder when I’m about to leave. It breaks my heart into pieces. Now, my husband and I make sure to leave earlier, before he wakes up, to avoid this kind of situation. I’m also planning to resign by next year, God willing, to fully stay and take care of him.

As for my part, I always remind myself to breathe and take things easy. Sure, there are some people who question my decision to still work after giving birth, but I’m doing this out of love for my child…to help his Dad provide a better future for our [family]–it’s one great way of showing him how much I love him. Yes, I sacrifice the time that I should’ve been with him but I’m doing this for him. Also, I’m learning to be kinder to myself, to stay away from any negativity, and just focus on being the best mother to my child even if I’m still working full time.

— Marianne Betiong-Dorado, mommy of Gian Matthew

 

"I try to counter the feeling of guilt by means of planning. I literally make a schedule and make sure I stick to it." - Katt Palma, mommy of Andray

I am a first time mom to 10-month-old, Andray. I feel like as a first timer, mom guilt tends to be stronger but I try to counter the feeling of guilt by means of planning. I literally make a schedule (it’s in my phone’s notes) and make sure I stick to it. In that way, I am sure to have time for Dray, myself, or work. Also with that, I know what to look forward to. Of course, weekends are for quality time with baby and family. Another way that makes me feel okay about working long hours is talking to my husband about the plans and schedule I make so that at times when I am away, he can be with Dray.

— Katt Palma, mommy of Andray

 

"Fixing a proper schedule to still make time for the family and making sure that the important activities in school is tucked in the schedule is the way to go." - Jane Aguirre, mommy of A.J.
Being a working mother gives me a guilty feeling sometimes. Fixing a proper schedule to still make time for the family and making sure that the important activities in school are tucked in the schedule is the way to go. If I have weekend work, I also bring my daughter and she knows that it is mommy’s work and she gets to choose the bonding activity right after. It also helps explaining to her why mommy needs to work and being open to her that working also makes mommy happy just like her happiness when going to school and doing her other extra-curricular activities.

— Jane Aguirre, mommy of A.J.

"That 'me time' is for me to sleep longer, to walk and eat alone, to think. To sustain me. To have a better me. At the end of the day, I owe my family a better version of myself." - Khat Villados, mommy of Ella and Kelsey
[I’m] a full-time working mom of two girls, an 8-year-old and a one-year and a half, which did not hinder me from becoming a hands-on mom, too. From doing groceries and preparing meals, to diaper changing, to making study notes for my eldest–the list goes on and on. [It’s] my language of love. However, whenever I am away for a week or two weeks business trip, I never let mom guilt stop me. I always tell myself that it’s my “me time.” That “me time” is for me to sleep longer, to walk and eat alone, to think. To sustain me. To have a better me. At the end of the day, I owe my family a better version of myself.

— Khat Villados, mommy of Ella and Kelsey

 

"Guilt is there because of the responsibilities we have, but it's ok to make small mistakes sometimes and forgive ourselves for our mistakes." - Gracey Quesang, mommy of Gavin and Garrett
Knowing that the baby got his sniffles from Kuya, [I got] mom guilt [because] I wasn’t strict enough not to let Kuya touch [his] baby bro. [I handle] mom guilt by knowing that it will all be over too [and by] reminding myself to take everything one step at a time, one day at a time, and not to be too hard on myself as a mom. Guilt is there because of the responsibilities we have, but it’s ok to make small mistakes sometimes and forgive ourselves for our mistakes.

— Gracey Quesang, mommy of Gavin and Garrett

"As a mom and as a person, I also need to grow and learn and have self-fulfillment to be able to become a better mother to them." - Charrie Aromin, mommy of Cassie and Joaquin

As a working mom, it’s hard not to feel guilty whenever I leave the house for work, especially when I see them crying or calling my name. It’s so heart breaking, but I do what I have to do. I try to handle it in a positive way [and remember] that all I’m doing is for them. As a mom and as a person, I also need to grow and learn and have self-fulfillment to be able to become a better mother to them. So spending weekends with them, making travel vacations, or just simply going home early everyday [are things] I do to make for the time lost and when I’m with them, I give them my full time and attention.

— Charrie Aromin, mommy of Cassie and Joaquin

 

"Time apart is time to grow so I have a bigger and better self to share. I do my best every day, I'm learning as I go along, and that's okay; no one else can be my baby's mama better than I can." - Alexa Javier, mommy of Maxie

Truth is that every day is a new challenge. My mom guilt hits me hard when I need to leave Maxie for a couple of hours and when she cries inconsolably. Sometimes, I imagine my baby all smiles with whomever I left her with and make up for lost time with hugs and kisses when I get back, sometimes with an explanation of where I went and why i was gone (even if she’s too young to understand). Oftentimes, I just need to ride the wave of tears by picking her up, cuddling her, with the occasional reassurances of “Mama’s here” and “I love you.”

No matter the circumstance, I force myself to listen to & remember what my mom friends advised: I am a person before I am a mom and I need to take care of myself first–whether it be through me time or for work. Time apart is time to grow so I have a bigger and better self to share. I do my best every day, I’m learning as I go along, and that’s okay; no one else can be my baby’s mama better than I can.

— Alexa Javier, mommy of Maxie
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