According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, there are five love languages that describe the way we love and how we want to be loved. There are Words of Affirmation, Giving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Quality Time. Depending on each person and their backgrounds, we have different preferences for giving and receiving love. How do mommies love?
Words are powerful and have the ability to change lives and the world. As moms, your family your world. If words of affirmation is your main love language, you are their very own supporter! One of your biggest roles as a mother is to make your kids and husband feel special and well-cared for. You try to brighten your family’s days with little texts and sticky notes. More so, you encourage your family to greater things- a promotion, good grades, etc. Did you know that repeating affirmations makes your subconscious on creating the statements to reality? According to Walter E. Jacobson, M.D, what we believe about ourselves and other people at a subconscious level can have a significant impact on the outcome of events. Consequently, you often say words like, “Thank you,” or “I appreciate what you did,” and “I love you”. You’re not afraid to say too much, in fact you’re scared to say too little.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas are just right in your alley! You are an expert in remembering what your family want as presents. You are also very handy and love DIY. Wrapping is all part of the wonderful process! You often can’t wait for them to open their presents so you request for them to open them in front of you. You try to limit the amount of gifts, from small to big. You feel fulfilled when you are giving, but most especially you find the greatest satisfaction in the smiles of your family!
Cleaning is a very important role as a mother to you! Fresh new sheets, empty laundry baskets, a home cooked meal in the table is what you enjoy. You volunteer for local organisations, help out in school events, and you definitely got your kids’ back for homework.. for so long. Acts of Service can be upon your partner’s request or even by surprise! You get great satisfaction in getting things done- and a little more!
As a baby, we cried and needed to cling onto our moms for survival and to create bonding. Touch is the first of the five senses that we develop! Not only do humans need touch but primates also bond by picking on each other’s fur, easing tensions among their group. Physical touch gives off the hormone Oxytocin. This helps humans to connect and gives a feel good hormone. Touch is your way to communicate tenderness. Your kids cannot leave the house without the ‘doom’ of your kisses and movie night and cuddling in the couch is one of the many favorite things. Like bunnies, you can never go without snuggling!
To spend quality time with family means developing ties and bond with your family. With quality time, you’re able to spend time talking and listening to each other as a family, instilling positive family values to your children! For example, Sunday lunch and dinner tables are important to you! You may also set up a movie night or a trip out of town for the family to be in the same space. You secretly enjoy having the kids sleep in your bed at night. The family can also be found in the kitchen, making meals together. Like a sheep herder, you bring the family together!
- Dr. Gary Brown, Why Physical Touch Is So Important In Relationships, July 2017
- Kathryn J Lively, Ph.D, Affirmations: The Why, What, How, and What If?, March 2014
- Harleena Singh, Family Time: Why Spending Time with Family is Important