A Mom’s Journey in Conquering Her Childbirth Fears

Childbirth is, without a doubt, one of the most painful physical experiences a woman can go through. This is why Mommy Jocelle was so afraid of the idea of conceiving that she had to muster up the courage for years before getting pregnant. In this feature, she shares with us her experience in conquering her  biggest fear of all–childbirth–and how she endured an emergency C-section when she specifically prepared her mind and body for a normal birth! Whether you’re a mom to be or still waiting for your perfect time, you are sure to learn a thing or two from Mommy Jocelle’s story.


“Childbirth was my biggest fear. It all started in senior year in high school when our Home Economics teacher showed us a video about pregnancy and childbirth. I was shocked and scared! From then on, I got the chills whenever someone mentions the word childbirth.” Mommy Jocelle

“When I had a feeling I was pregnant, I was in denial. We were already on our 7th year of marriage, and I thought it’s time that we build our own family. But during that time, my husband and I were also busy with the preparations for our church wedding in the Philippines. We also had to make sure our work at the office will be seamless when we take our leave. I was worried about a lot of things but at the same time, I was overjoyed and excited!”

“During my second trimester, my doctor said that I gained a little bit too much weight. He stressed that I should be only gaining half a kilogram a month. It was alarming, and I knew I had to step up. From then on, I had to watch what I eat more closely, as my doctor monitors my diet and weight progress every week. I even had to eat in portions so that I don’t overeat.”

“I also experienced pre-partum depression. I read that it’s not that common compared with post-partum depression. When I read more about it, the more I got to identify with all the negative feelings, most especially at that time when I felt I was at my heaviest! I felt like I already wanted to give birth, because I find it difficult to sleep and move, and I was ultra sensitive. I can’t fit in my clothes anymore, and I can’t even look at myself in the mirror! I had a lot of insecurities about my body.”

“The pandemic also added to my stress. There were so many restrictions. It was too scary to go out! But during the entire pregnancy, I also had to keep reminding myself that I have to think for two. I needed to focus on the emotion of being excited rather than being worried. Instead of thinking that I miss my old self, that I will miss being a career woman, and that I cannot do it, I focused on the baby being a blessing and the kind of joy she will bring us when she’s here.”

“Meditation also helped me a lot during my pregnancy. I watched affirmations and meditations on Youtube to calm myself and have peace of mind so I won’t overthink as much. I also got a lot of love and support from my husband and from my family. I realized how important it is to have a strong support system when you’re pregnant.”

“I was due to give birth on June 18, but our baby wasn’t showing any signs that she’s going to come out yet. So on our 40th week, June 19, we had our check up and our doctor asked us to get admitted to the hospital on that same day for monitoring. After the morning check up, we went home to get our hospital bags and have lunch. Our schedule for admission was set at 3 PM that day. But after eating lunch, I found out I have lost my mucous plug. I was so happy that there is a sign for everything to still flow naturally.”

“I was still at 1cm dilation until afternoon. My doctor decided to administer foley balloon induction to help my cervix soften and open up. We’d know by 8:00 next morning if there would be any difference. Going through labor was the hardest part. It is even an understatement.”

“I was completely speechless when the doctor was discussing the need for an emergency C section, because I was really pushing for a normal birth. I rejected taking pain reliever, even if I knew I still had to wait for another hour before I would know my cervix would dilate for more than 7cm. I was disappointed. The doctor was apologizing profusely because he knew I am enduring everything to push through with natural birth. Even my husband felt my heart when he noticed I wasn’t speaking anymore. I thought, I mustered all the courage but it wasn’t enough.”

“So I prayed to God. I prayed for Him to watch over us, to guide the hands of all the people who will do the operation and who will get our baby. I told myself that we are doing the emergency C section based on the expertise of our doctor and that he is suggesting it because he only wants the best and safest for me and my baby. They had 30 minutes to prepare for the emergency C section. I still felt down because no one else was allowed in the emergency room, not even my husband.”

“At 7:14 PM on June 20, our baby was born. The moment I heard her cry, I forgot all the pain I endured for the past 11 hours. Who would have thought that my biggest fear would bring me my greatest joy?”

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