Here are 5 Ways You Can Teach Your Kids to Say No!

It’s not always easy hearing your kids say “no” when you ask them for something. As parents, we don’t like our authority being undermined, especially when in the presence of other watchful eyes, and sometimes we feel exasperated when we’re simply trying to make it easier for everyone. Saying no may not be the easiest lesson we have to teach our children, but it is one of the most important to empower them and prepare them for the real world. It will definitely be an advantage for them knowing when and how to say no, respectfully. If you need a little help with how you can teach this lesson without losing control, try these 5 simple, yet effective ways you can show kids that saying no is okay. You got this, Mom and Dad!

Here are 5 Ways You Can Teach Your Kids to Say No!

(Header) Don't force, shame, or bribe them to hug or kiss family members. 

We know. This is a lot easier said than done, especially because of our Filipino culture that promotes greeting your elders as a sign of respect. Whether we don’t want our relatives to feel bad or we don’t want to be embarrassed by the “lack of good manners,” it’s more important that they know they don’t have to do anything they’re not comfortable doing. Explain to them that consent will always work both ways. They are always allowed to say no when it comes to their bodies. In the same way, others are also allowed to say no back and they should respect that.


(Header) Don't punish them when they disagree with you. 

Have you ever heard yourself utter the words “because I said so” to your kid? Do you get angry when your kid shares a point of view that contradicts your own? If you answered yes to one or two of the questions, there’s no need to worry because you are not alone. However, it’s also important that parents make more of an effort to show respect for their conflicting views. When kids feel comfortable enough to speak their minds and share opinions, it gives them confidence in their own voice and power to change whatever situation.


(Header) Teach them to follow their intuition. 

Intuition is something kids have inherently that can help them be happier and make better decisions. You can describe intuition as their “inner best friend” that will guide them through the rest of their lives. There will be times when your intuition tells you there’s something up with your body, as well as times when there is something off about a situation so they need to be cautious. Teach your kids to trust their gut and continuously learn from the process. Practicing this will not train them how to say no, but rather, when it is right to say no.


(Header) Show them a good example of how to say no respectfully. 

Kids are a lot more perceptive than we like to think sometimes. When they see us agreeing to every whim of our in-laws or getting peer-pressured to do things we say we don’t want to, it can be counter-productive. Be a good example of an adult that confidently stands his or her ground and allow this to influence their choices in the future. Whether it’s to break a few rules with friends or a sip of alcohol in the (not so near) future, you can rest easy knowing you raised a child that knows that there are times that refusing is okay.


(Header) Allow them to have a say in what they wear. 

When the time has come that your child has developed his or her own unique style, why not allow them to wear it proud? Of course, Mom and Dad have final say when it comes to the budget for clothes and special occasions with specific dress codes. We’re talking about the times when your son doesn’t want to wear matching shirts with his brother anymore or your daughter would rather wear a blue dress than a pink one. Talk to them about their preferences and you might just be surprised how much easier it is to get ready for the day!




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