It’s Okay to Ask For Help after the Fourth Trimester

We’ve all heard about the fourth trimester, right? Simply, it’s the first three months of your baby’s life. The long story? It’s a crazy, yet meaningful whirlwind of sleepless nights and a whole lot of learning and growth, for the baby and the parents alike. Many have referred to the fourth trimester as a time of adjustment for the baby to life outside the womb and for the mother to her new role. Some parents also see the end of the fourth trimester as a milestone for when the baby has developed significantly and parents have somewhat adapted to their new routines. But what happens if three months was not enough to get back on your feet? Don’t you worry, you are not alone. It’s absolutely okay to ask for help after the fourth trimester! Keep reading to find out why.

It’s Okay to Ask For Help after the Fourth Trimester

Every body heals differently.

Whether it was a normal birth or a Caesarean delivery, pre-mature or overdue, textbook case or with multiple complications, allow your body to heal in its own time. You will experience changes in your body and your hormones, bleeding, and probably constant discomfort. Take as much time as you need and try not to be pressured by the postpartum workout routines that you see on Instagram. Rest when you can. Eat healthy and stay hydrated. Check in with your doctors. Be patient. Don’t forget, your body was built to do amazing things.

 

It takes a village to raise a child, and it also takes a village to raise a mother. 

You’ll always find yourself learning something new everyday. While experience (and your baby) are definitely the best teachers, you can always turn to your village. You’re going through the same developmental milestones, comparing the same brands of baby gear, and planning similar baby menus and activities. Ask questions and learn from each other. What do you do to encourage crawling? Which brands of high-chair have you tried? How did you start introducing solids? If there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that mamas love to talk about their babies and they’re always happy to help fellow mamas.

 

Plans can change.

It happens to the best of us—even the mom with the consistent sleep schedule and the impressive weekly meal plan. You scheduled a meeting during the baby’s nap time, but he decides to take a short nap today. You said you would stop working after two kids, but you there you are with four, still on the grind. Plans will definitely change after the fourth trimester and can still change after the fourth year. There’s no need to stress yourself out trying to stick to the plan. Phone a friend until you’re able to sort everything out.

 

Your baby continues to depend on you well after the fourth trimester. 

It’s not like after three months your baby magically learns how to feed himself or walk to wherever she wants to go. Your baby will continue to need you. They may find themselves sticking to a routine later on (lucky you), but a lot of your time will still required. What happens when it’s time to go back to work? When your husband asks you out on a date? When a loved one needs your assistance? You can always ask for help. Grandparents are always willing to lend a hand when it comes to their grandkids, but you can always turn to co-parents and trusted friends as well.

 

Self-care is not selfish.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take of yourself so that you can take care of your baby. We know that the never ending to-do list of mama leaves little time to focus on yourself, so you need to be more intentional about it. Ask for help with some of the household chores or ask ask someone else to be the primary cary giver. Do it this weekend. Get that massage you’ve been wanting or grab brunch and catch up with your girls. Whatever self-care looks like for you, go for it. You deserve it, mama!

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