Being a parent is tough, this we all know to be 100% true. You have chores on one hand and milk on the other, work on your mind while the well-being of your child knocking on your subconscious, it’s probably non-stop talking in your brain. Well, it is also yadayadayada in reality too! Do you feel me mommies? Sometimes, we just want some peace and quiet at home so you can listen to your own thoughts, but no matter what we do, there is chaos all around. What surprises me the most is how the chaos only happens when I am around, when we are in the presence of others, my daughter seems to be the most angelic human being this world has ever known! This poses the all-time question: Why does my child misbehave only when I am around and is so behave around others?
Read on as we give you reasons for this mind-boggling behavior!
When we bring a little human to this world, he or she depends on us for all the basic needs – food, comfort, shelter, even going to sleep and waking up, this is the reality we face from the day our kids are born. Because the baby has no other means of communication, it cries, and throws a fit the kind that only you can interpret. When you are around, your baby also knows that his or her every need will be met. Especially when you breastfeed, the baby smells you and knows that food is within reach! So don’t fret when your little one acts out when you are there, it only means one thing – your baby knows only you can decode what he or she needs at that moment.
Well, here comes the toddler years, when the running, crying, shouting, and a whole lot more comes in. I remember getting a lot of praises when other people see how well behaved my daughter was in public, then we come home and it is a whole different story. When we are at home, my daughter will run around, jump everywhere, sing at the top of her lungs, leave toys all over the house, it is like roaming around with a sweet little angel and coming home with the Tasmanian devil! Until one day, I realized, my daughter behaves in the company of others because she is still trying her best to be liked by those people. Ever since I embraced the fact that my daughter feels very comfortable to explore and be the worst when she is with me because she knows that I will love her no matter what, I have fully shifted how I feel about these outbursts. Think about it this way, when you are in the company of others, don’t you put your best foot forward too? But when you are at home, in the presence of people who love you unconditionally, don’t you relax and let go a little? Well, that is how your little one feels too. Your child knows you love him or her, that is the most important part.
Put yourself in this situation, you go to work, you have a busy day full of meetings in the presence of your bosses and colleagues, doesn’t it feel good to go for a little drink or maybe a karaoke session after all that? That is how your child feels around other people, especially after going to school and behaving for hours! I remember the first few weeks of face to face classes. My 5 year old will go home and have all this energy! I started to worry that she no longer behaves as she did before school started and even texted her teacher to ask if she still obeys and listens in school. Her teacher tells me that she is such a model student, always listening, doing as she is told and never puts a foot out of place! So it hit me, she has all these bottled up energy from behaving too well that she needs to release all those, and boy was I thankful she chose to relax and unwind in my presence.
Probably the most important reason for this behavior is that your child knows you are a safe place. The child knows that you are there no matter what he or she does, you will understand, you will correct, you will guide and most of all, you will make him or her feel your love. Just like how we feel when we are at home, we feel most relaxed and able to let loose a little because we are in the presence of people who will never judge us or hate us for putting a foot out of place. And if only for this, know that you are doing a good job as a parent.
Bottomline, this is probably the best compliment we can get as parents. Being able to assure the child that we will be by their side, providing for them and protecting them is the best testament of our love for them. So heads up! You are doing a good job, much better than you think!